Read my story on Momversation:
Do some women have a higher aptitude for motherhood?
Lately I’ve been thinking about how ill-prepared I was for motherhood, when I gave birth 18 months ago–and how much I still have to learn! Things looked pretty solid on paper: Babysitting experience in my teen years, check. Husband, check. Graduate degree, check. Stable work and home environment, check, check.
About one hour into motherhood I realized that my aforementioned checklist was way off track. The only item on that list that has proven valuable has been my husband. (Lord knows I was definitely not cut out to be a single mom. I just don’t have the right stuff for that.) You know how some people are good at math, how some people are creative and how others are athletic? I think that “motherhood”, or parenting, is also something that you have an intrinsic aptitude for—or not. I’m one of the “or not’s”. I’m not embarrassed to tell people that I am not a naturally good runner, so why should I be embarrassed to admit to my lack of innate mothering knowledge?
I absolutely love my son, but being a mother doesn’t always come easy for me. I inherently know how to analyze statistics and really enjoy writing, but knowing what to do with a screaming baby? Nope. I don’t have it. For the first seven weeks of my beautiful son’s life he did nothing, (and when I say nothing, I mean NOTHING), other than scream bloody-murder, poop and eat. Yes, I intentionally left “sleep” off that description, because, well…he didn’t. I was an absolute wreck—and already back to work by the time he was six weeks old. It was a nightmare. I don’t even want to talk about it. (I can almost laugh about it now, but the memories are still a little too fresh.)
I truly believe that people who are not born with the genetics to be a gold medal Olympian, can still eventually become really good at a sport they work at—and can certainly still get an athletic scholarship for college. See, this is where my hope comes in. I know that just because motherhood hasn’t come naturally for me—and I would never qualify for any type of gold-mothering-medal, I can still be a good mom…make that a great mom! I am definitely getting the hang of motherhood more and more each day, and I swear that by the time my son is 13 I’ll have the toddler phase under control.
I took Supernanny’s Parental Aptitude Test and found out I was fit to raise a “Lazy Dog.” Yes, it really said that. Apparently I still have some work to do—and it seems that “Tongs” is not the right answer to the first question: “Which is the most important tool to have on hand for diaper changes?”.
Did parenthood come naturally to you? Has it been a harder transition than you imagined? Why do you think moms feel guilty about admitting they are clueless—or was that just me?
We think you are a GREAT Mom!
That’s why you have to have another one. I think it’s just you DON”T know what to do and you’re anxious all the time. Especially when you’re sleep deprived. Second time around you’re more confident.
Don’t forget, you’ve had a lot of stress in the last year. Even good stress is stress. Good grief, you moved halfway around the world. With all your stuff. And then moved again.
If your baby boy is alive at bedtime, you’ve done a good job. You’re mom for life – embrace it. You don’t have to be popular, you don’t have to run for re-election. Plus, the kid’s got to have something to tell his therapist.
PS – Start praying now for his wife.
BusyBee: LOL! I do plan on sharing every single one of these stories with Gianni’s future wife.
Good luck to her (especially if their child takes after its dad). Just took another load of baby clothes to Goodwill…we’ve still got his swing in the attic, but NO SIBLINGS on the horizon!!!